Ugh Reno isn't real. It's probably the postmodernism seminar talking.
I work for 13 hours straight and don't get anywhere... quicksands of text.
I miss all the people I love.
I wrote this on the whiteboard at the coffeeshop:
(coffee/tea + Olympia, PBR, champagne cocktails) x textn = our lives
referring to my Michigan pal and myself.
There's no getting out. Shrug.
“At first glance, writing may seem not nearly so much an art of the body as, say, dancing or gardening or carpentry. And yet language is the most intimately physical of all the artistic means. We have it palpably in our mouths; it is our langue, our tongue. Writing it, we shape it with our hands. Reading aloud what we have written—as we must do, if we are writing carefully—our language passes in at the eyes, out at the mouth, in at the ears; the words are immersed and steeped in the sense of the body before they make sense in the mind. They cannot make sense in the mind until they have made sense in the body. Does shaping one’s words with one’s own hand impart character and quality to them, as does speaking them with one’s own tongue to the satisfaction of one’s own ear? There is no way to prove that it does. On the other hand, there is no way to prove that it does not, and I believe that it does. “
–Wendell Berry, “Feminism, the Body, and the Machine”
"'transgender rage'...is generated by the subject's situation in a field governed by the unstable but indissoluable relationship between language and materiality, a situation in which language organizes and brings into signification matter that simultaneously eludes definitive representation and demands its own perpetual rearticulation in symbolic terms....what lit the fuse to my rage in the hospital delivery room...was the non-consensuality of the baby's gendering....authority seizes upon specific material qualities of the flesh...and reads it to enculturate the body. Gender attribution is compulsory...we choose neither our marks nor the meanings they carry...a gendering violence is the founding condition of human subjectivity...."
--Susan Stryker, My Words to Victor Frankenstein
So my summer plans include:
-moving out of my house and into another sometime in June, if not next week (!!).
-flying home June 3-7th to see 1)brother graduate, 2)Dad's first show of the season, 3)aunt and uncle, 4)sister before she moves to Georgia.
-returning home day before birthday, then camping that weekend
-flying to Vermont June 16-22nd for a conference and in all likelihood sleeping in a rental car
-returning in time to see Jaspal and Gina somewhere in California
-time at home to try to savor Reno and environs and get shit done
-flying to North Carolina July 13-20 to attend the big festival Transformus with Meredith and George
-potential trip to Washington early August to see Alison and Alan?
-August orientations for Fall semester
-back to school.
YE GODS. I hope the funds hold up.
Setting down to work at the flat I'm housesitting at. Just had some ginger tea, and there's an adorable kitten asleep on the desk. Last night I dreamed of getting to Michigan and falling flat onto the ground, grasping it for all it's worth.
The blonde in the bleachers
She flips her hair for you
Above the loudspeakers
You start to fall
She follows you home
But you miss living alone
You can still hear sweet mysteries
The bands and the roadies
Lovin' 'em and leavin' 'em
It's pleasure to try 'em
It's trouble to keep 'em
'Cause it seems like you've gotta give up
Such a piece of your soul
When you give up the chase
Feeling it hot and cold
You're in Rock 'n Roll
It's the nature of the race
It's the unknown child
So sweet and wild
It's too good to waste
She tapes her regrets
To the microphone stand
She says "You can't hold the hand
Of a Rock 'n Roll man
Or count on your plans
With a Rock 'n Roll man
Compete with the fans
For your Rock 'n Roll man
For very long
The girls and the bands
And the Rock 'n Roll man"
babiespuppiescupcakesboyssunshinecaffeine = implosion imminent?
Updates. One day. Updates....
"Wind Advisory in effect from 8 PM this evening to 8 am PDT Thursday..."
I'm restless, too.